Inspired by Braai4Heritage ambassador Dan Nicholl’s completion of a 5-mile fun-run in New York over the weekend, I have dreamt up a new endurance sport called Braaiathlon. As you might know, the traditional triathlon involves swimming, then cycling and finish with running. To complete a Braaiathlon you need to braai in consecutive order something that swims, something that flies, and something that runs. I have done a few triathlons myself, most noticeably an Ironman (see photo below), and have done a few Braaiathons (very long braais) but never before a Braaiathlon.
The most obvious things that swim are fish, but there are a few more exotic animals like crayfish, crocodile and eel that also qualify for braaing in this first leg of the Braaiathlon. Next up is the flying leg. Here the first thing that comes to mind is a chicken. There are many other animals to also consider like Ostrich, Quail, Duck and Pork. Pork might be a contentious meat to include in this leg of the Braaithlon, but there have been so many utterances of “when pigs fly” over the years, and then that unlikely event actually occurs, that we can safely assume that pigs do in fact on occasion fly. Dan’s completion of the 5-mile run is a case in point that the impossible does sometimes happen.
Most people will probably complete the last leg of the Braaiathlon, the running part, by braaing lamb or beef but here one can also consider things like Springbok, Gemsbok, Kudu and even Goat. As with Triathlon, you will also get ultra distance Braaiathlons. To complete an ultra distance Braaiathlon, you need to braai a whole animal in each category for example you start by braaing a whole snoek, followed by a whole chicken and then you spit a whole lamb. Because Braaiatlon is such a new sport, there are some rules that still need a bit of fine-tuning. As the sport progresses, the rules might be amended to include certain drinks casino that goes with each leg. Also, the pork rule might be contentious and the International Braaiathlon Board (IBB), which at the moment consists of me, might have to relook that rule at some stage. The animals that are braaied are not allowed to use any steroids, and braaiers are responsible to ensure that their animals were raised stimulant free. In order to make the sport as spectator friendly as possible, the use of man-ovens will be strictly prohibited, as its impossible to see what is going on when meat is in a man-oven.
Although braaithlons can be held whenever you feel like it, all interested South Africans are urged to have a Braaiathlon on the 24th of each month, in recognition of National Braai Day that takes place on 24 September each year.